By Rahab Wainaina 

 “Life is suffering” is one of the four noble truths according to Buddha, yet human nature would rather there was no suffering. In The Road Less Travelled, M Scott Peck, M.D., a psychiatrist, bemoans that the tendency to avoid problems and the emotional suffering inherent in them is the primary basis for all mental illness. He suggests that discipline is the basic tool that human beings require to solve their problems. He further proposes four techniques of suffering constructively which stem from discipline: delaying gratification, acceptance of responsibility, dedication to truth and balancing.

Currently, a lot of suffering is being experienced due to the challenging economic times. However, it is just one form of suffering, and I invite us to consider the aforementioned techniques to help us navigate our life’s challenges.

Delaying Gratification 

Scott Peck defines delaying gratification as the process of scheduling the pain and pleasure of life in such a way as to enhance the pleasure by meeting and experiencing the pain first and getting it over with.

Often there is a problem lurking in the background, something that we need to take a hard look at and decide on. It may be tempting to ignore it, but it will rear its head again and may well become worse the longer we take to resolve it. We therefore need to muster the courage to face the difficult things in life, even when we do not feel like it. Upon resolving the matter, we will have the peace of mind to focus our attention on other productive ventures.  It’s like eating the cake before the icing. 

Acceptance of Responsibility

One must accept responsibility for a problem before one can solve it, says Scott Peck. He gives examples of people who have a character disorder and those who have a neurosis. While those with neurosis assume too much responsibility for their actions, those with a character disorder do not assume enough responsibility. It is the latter group that is of concern, as without assumption of responsibility problems cannot be solved.

We need to take responsibility for our actions and our decisions. Only then will we accept and learn from our mistakes and make the necessary changes. There is power in owning up to mistakes. In the workplace, leaders can enhance acceptance of responsibility by creating a safe environment where people are not afraid to say that they made a mistake. Making mistakes should be viewed as a learning opportunity for the individual, the team and the business. The leader should give guidance on the learning derived from the mistake and the ways to avoid repeating it in the future. The converse, where one takes too much responsibility for mistakes (which sometimes are committed by others) is equally concerning and not sustainable. The individual will be weighed down by the emotional and mental burden of these mistakes and their consequences. Care should however be taken not to oversimplify these issues, so professional help should be sought where needed.

Dedication to Truth

Scott Peck opines that our view of reality is like a map through which to negotiate the terrain of life. If the map is true and accurate, we will generally know where we are, and if we have decided where we want to go, we will know how to get there. If the map is false and inaccurate, we will be lost. He adds that for our maps to be accurate, we have to continually revise them. 

The technique points to continuous reflection on one’s life and making the necessary changes. We need to be honest with ourselves and call ourselves to account when it is called for, as this is how we become better. Dedication to truth is also about living a life of honesty – not only in the words we speak but also in the way we speak them. They should reflect the truth or the reality as we know it. Duplicity should be avoided at all costs.  

Balancing

Renunciation and rebirth is one of the themes that Scott Peck brings out in the technique of balancing. He talks about bracketing, which is essentially the act of balancing the need for stability and assertion of the self, with the need for new knowledge and greater understanding by temporarily giving up one’s self to make room for the incorporation of new material into the self.

There are old habits and ways of doing things that come naturally. There are also things that one would say they cannot do based on previous experiences. What if one would consider trying something entirely new without being held back by a belief that it cannot be done? Balancing is maintaining that intricate equilibrium of the ‘new’ and the ‘old’ without getting carried away by either.  

According to Scott Peck, almost all children are adept in the use of these techniques by the age of ten. However, as adults, we forget to use them to our detriment. The problem, he says, is not the complexity of these tools but rather the will to use them. For they are tools through which pain is confronted rather than avoided. I hope that through the conscious application of these techniques, we will build our resilience, not only for today but in the days to come.  

The writer is a Senior HR Manager in the water & energy sector.